I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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