Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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