I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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