He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
