oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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