I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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