I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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