Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
