The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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