just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This baby is an asshole
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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