K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
