You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
