she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize