If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
