i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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