Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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