we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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