why didn't you poke me back
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
