How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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