One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
