This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
