xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sober January is a disaster.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she peed on how many people?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
