I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
