Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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