yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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