Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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