yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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