somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think my tv is drunk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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