There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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