Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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