i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
