Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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