Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize