Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
A bitchslap is in order.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
