i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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