Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
