Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
