Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
