I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
