yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
