Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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