It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
