Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
