you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
