I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
