There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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