I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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