Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
