that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just high enough for therapy.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
