I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am naked and annoyed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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