Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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