Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
