He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
