I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
