Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize