I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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